The first in my marathon journey...

15 Jan, 2012 642 PM
It's come and gone; The Standard Chartered Mumbai marathon and my first ever half marathon. Like most events, this too, is starting to seem like a memory of a few days back.Random images of this morning flashing across my eyes as I try to sleep. The chill at 5 o clock in the morning, us driving down the reclamation to the holding area, sipping water by the minute till my bladder felt it'll burst... the milling crowd at the holding area.. all in their running gear, the many rounds to the mobile rickety loo and yet some more bottles of water!
It started with the beeping of the starting mat when I looked at my stop watch and ticked it on. My time had begun.I knew i had to run harder than I had done in any of my practice runs- I had to run at a 9.91 kmph vis a vis a 9.7 kmph that i'd run on my best days. So, i started fast. Avani ( who had the same running time as I did) was running with me foraround 10 mins. I kept looking over my back to ensure she was with me, but I think around 2-3 K, when I trned back a couple of times, I didnt see her anymore. I decided then that it was futile to keep pace with her and I decided to head ahead on my own. A couple of meters down, I found another running partner or rather he found me. It was as if he's realised that his pace matched mine and that I had a plan written on my wrist and that he could run along with me. We ran in tandem for about 4 K, criss crossing people ahead of us, clearing crowd ahead and shoving occasionaly ( of course apologising profusely after that!). I thought here was a guy who I could latch on to to complete my entire run. And just then, I was so terribly aware of the searing pain that was rising in my calf muscles and my quads. As dan would say, I had already started to feel that my quads were getting roasted! As I look back, I am not sure my pain was just physical. The fear that was overpowering me after the 6K mark overcame my determination in no time. I stopeed. Just stopped. My running partner looked to his sides to find that I was no longer running with him. He gave a few glances over his shoulders and ran on. I saw him run meters ahead in no time and I saw many hundreds cross me in seconds.I felt I was central to a movie where I am left standing on the edge as this entire blurry sea of people passes me by. At that moment.. i gave up.. for those moments. Pictured myself looking up, crying, throwing my hands down in despair. My legs just wouldnt move and I had already missed out on a few minutes and my legs had almost given up but my mind was not far behind. I decided I had to break my thoughts. I couldn't complete the race this way. Funny thoughts crossed my head too - The whole ofc knew (courtesy Hima's mail that I was doing the HM and I'd felt like a star after reading it) . Moreover, I had already run 21K thrice in my practice runs - Why the fuck should I give up now. I started to walk, cleared my head, had a snicker bar and decided to chuck all plans. I decided to now do it at my own pace . I ran, surprisingly much smoother this time and my head cleared up much more after the 8k mark. I was running my normal race.I have a faint recall of what crossed me as I ran - Haji Ali, Atria Mall, up peddar road. many residents had gathered on either side of the road to cheer mumbai as it ran this morning. Bananas, parle g bisuits, gloucose sachets - they'd bought it all- in crates to hand out to the runners. I loved it and helped my self to a banana and a couple of drinks along the road. Before i realised i'd done 14k and then 16k. I knew that when I hit 18K, i could do the last leg.. Scrape through somehow.
And then I did hit 18k. I could hear junta shouting 'last leg -go for it- push-push'. I wanted to slap all of them then because the last leg is not cake walk- at least wasnt for me this morning.As I hit 18 K, the pain in my quads and calves came back with a vengeance, my head was fuzzy and the sun had started to show up. There were runners with me and ahead of me and I could hear them panting, the sweat drops flying in the air against the sun.. all running in a rythem - thud thud thud thud...I felt my heart beat the same way in my chest.I've never been more aware of it. I couldn't give up now- not at 19K! I willed with everything in me - Rudyard Kipling's -"If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on"; - playing through my head more than a couple of times. And I willed with my heart and nerve and senew to take every stride after that. My legs numbed , my back breaking and shoulders hurting, I took the longest strides I had taken in the last hour and a half and ran on the mat at 2 hrs 19 min 56 secs after I started. I had done it..I had finally done it! What I'd so looked forward to, what I'd so prepared for, what hurt so much as I went through had come and gone..I was happy and breathing easy as I staggered and trudged along with the support of the divider on the road towards the medal area. I got my refreshments- what else but parle g biscuits and orange and apple and collapsed on the ground as I waited for Subin to reach the azad maidan. It was taking time to sink in but it did when Alok, who I bumped into, said 'Great job Abhi, your first half marathon under the belt':)
I typed it as I dint want to memory of my first half marathon to fritter away. The next one's going to be about my full marathon:)

Dar ke aage jeet hai

10 42 AM , 9 Dec 2010

Ran with the boys yesterday..i could see my long strides. A wee bit too long i think for my to control them.
I gave up in 6 rounds, my heart pounding in my chest.
The boys ran all 10.
I had given up much before I had actually given up. I was competing when all I believed in till then was beating my own benchmarks.Forgot that somewhere on the way.
This morning, I tried a more convenient strategy to beat my benchmark- to do my 10K trial on the tread mill, away from the boys and an autopush machine which will not allow me to give up.

On the way to the gym, however, with a little push from a friend, I decided to hit the road..
My legs hurt, think anaerobic reactions had started in my quads. Will not be an exagerration to say, I was aware of every stride I took. Everyone of them longer than what my body allowed.. my mind was clearly pushing and dint want to give up just yet.
Clocked 1:01:35:08 - my best 10 k trial honestly.
I didnt do too bad..:)

Aeroplane Wings

16 July, 745 PM

The aeroplane wing amidst the thuderstorm skies...
The skies. a staggering melange of colours,
of fire balls and smoke, all intertwined,
merging seamlessly into a blue so still;

A blue so still, that's shattered only by a crack of lightning somewhere!
Good no one lives at this elevation- on this land that engulfs you so deep..
So deep that you lose you sense of space..

I am on the right side of the aeroplane wing..
It aint no fun to be left behind up here...

Janshatabdi Express

On the Way to Jamshedpur, 30/9/2011
In the train...
The water on the window leaving trails
through which I see...
The railway tracks run and the electric wires fly
alongside the train..
They will both reach Jamshedpur with me at 945 am....

Play Ground

Home, 150 PM, 29 January 2011

The sports day of Bombay Scottish has just got over..
The young kids, dressed in white and multicoloured caps finished PT at 12 sharp.
I saw the parents leave enthusiastically, with their kids in toe...
The labourers are now at work, piling up the chairs and dismatling the pandal...
The three kids from the slums have just walked into the ground excitedly now..
they are getting ready to play gilli danda..
they probably study in a different school.

Silly Mistakes

Home , Raheja Vihar, Mumbai
On a lazy Saturday afternoon 1255pm

I am sitting to blog in over six months now..primarily because I realized I was writing in between for others and not for myself and secondly because in a long long time.. after 1.5 years, I am home, with my husband and cat..settled, to be able to think of what I should do next.
But that being besides the point..I write today as Bombay Scottish celebrates its annual sports on the ground right opposite our apartment. Found myself looking down sleepy eyed at the hundreds of kids pour into the ground this morning. A few flags fixed right in front, for the view of the enthusiastic parents.

Took a stock of the time that has passed between now and the last I was there..enthusiastic one morning, dressed in my green tunic, well below my knees, parted hair tied at two end of my head, hair which was thankfully not oiled, looking forward to the time when my parents would walk in and as the captain of the school I would receive my flag , looking ahead with pride and responsibility. I don't know why, but I would always develop a lump in my throat and tears would well up in my eyes everytime I saw my parents encouraging me from behind the barricades.
Coming back to now, yesterday a few colleagues (also parents) were talking excitedly about being there. It hit me that actually many years have passed when we’re talking about our kids being out there in the sports days and that in no time, I’d be taking my own kid.
But for now, my thoughts are drifting back to my school, carmel convent, the yeallow building, 10th standard, the desks in which we scratched our names, flowers, shapes and patterns when bored , the teachers,Venu madam, Awasthi Madam, Girija warrior madam..
The math result.. I had scored an 89, lost 7 marks that I lost because of a silly mistake. Would have got me to 96, most that I expected from myself. Warrior mam told me that day that I was focusing more on the extracurrics and therefore losing out on hitting out on my potential. My teachers believed my abilities more than I did myself..
My silly mistakes have come with me all the way.. I still make them.. worse now.. I make them at work.. In the compensation of a person last year which I fixed later…need to slow down as a person.
On second thoughts I think I have brought along from school much more than silly mistakes with me…

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